Parents, Sterilize Your Stupid Kids.

Every time I try to think of a reason why I should like children, I think of the idiot kids that I have seen and remember why I have disregarded an entire population of people. It was not always this bad, but with each passing generation the youth has been on an intellectual decline that has accumulated in the dumbasses we know today. There are so many of them now that you don't have to look for them, they will come to you like a hungry stray, many times disguised as boy scouts. I was walking in the park the other day and I saw the finest examples of stupidity conceivable, or inconceivable since I could not have made it up if I tried.

The first group of kids I saw looked like they were wannabe ex-convicts, and judging by their actions I have no doubt that they will achieve their goals. As I walked by, it looked like they were practicing shanking each other with what appeared to be a butter knife, since that is probably all they were allowed to play with. I mean really, a butter knife? I was tempted to offer them a fork so they could be more effective. The most prominent feature about them was that some of them chose to wear imitation leather coats and shorts since it is summer. I could have pissed my pants laughing because my fashion sense is bad, but not that bad. If they had been adults I would have told them to let their balls drop and start acting like men, but since they were adolescents I figured they would probably be playing in the street later and their chances of being struck by a car were pretty good. Nature has a way of resolving its own issues. So I continued on my way.

I soon came upon another group of kids hanging out around their dope ass rides, which were a station wagon and a Ford Tempo. I don't know if there was a drug deal going on or if they were exchanging naked pictures of each other's mothers, but these dipshits acted like they owned the park. As stupid as they looked, I can chalk these actions up to kids being kids, that is until I saw one deliver a roundhouse kick to a tree. Good job asshole, you just punished a large piece of vegetation. Trees everywhere should wallow in fear of a rampaging rebel like yourself. I admit that I was actually intimidated by this because you never know when someone this unstable is going to spontaneously combust. If mental retardation is contagious I would have caught it hanging around there. So I said a quick prayer for the future of the human race and kept walking until I felt like taking a seat .

As I sat and waited for a fight to break out on the basketball court, I heard a rooster crowing behind me. "What the hell?" I thought to myself as I turned around to see the douche bag of the day. This kid had his head shaved into a mohawk and half assed goatee. As he paraded around making animal noises, his friends followed silently behind him in support. I don't know what is worse, being the douche bag or the douche bag supporter, but even my quick wit was at a loss to explain this spectacle. When he would walk away, I could hear his voice fading in the background, then twenty minutes later he would reappear. The second time he was yelling "Red Bull." I only wished that Red Bull had given him wings so that he could possibly get sucked into the turbines of an airline jet. By this time I had it with dealing with the handicapped youth of today and left.

These events brought me to the conclusion that parents need to have their idiot kids sterilized. Maybe they are stupid because the parents are stupid, or perhaps it is a recessive gene that skipped a generation. Either way, stop the suffering now! I know if there are any parents reading this they are probably thinking silently to themselves, "But my child isn't stupid." Chances are good that they are if people have complained about their lack of hygiene or if they have had to repeat any grade from K-12. Stupidity is a disease, if you hang around idiots long enough you start to act like one and then it becomes a lifestyle. Parents, don't live in denial, if your kids are stupid do the right thing and get them fixed. I happen to know a vet who will do it for a discount price, ask me for details, or you can do it yourself with some household tools such as a shovel and a hot iron. You don't want them to be in charge of your future when you are elderly, do you? Whatever it takes, get the job done.