I should have wrote this a long time ago, but it never occurred to me how much of a pandemic all these books and movies have become regarding vampire romances with people. It's a ridiculous molestation of an epic fictional being. Dracula never fell in love with Mina Harker, he bit the living shit out of her without her consent or a boring romance, and people loved it!
Somewhere along the line, vampires became sympathetic and emotional. Somehow they became pansies looking for a cure to their curse of drinking people's blood and being unable to fall in love when they should be sleeping in coffins, listening to heavy metal, going to night clubs, and eating people. That's what made them cool and interesting. Vampires can be diverse in their personality, but they shouldn't be falling in love with outcast high school girls and knocking them up. Anytime I feel that I could cock slap a vampire and piss on his broken body, means that some author or director fucked up.
Vampires use to be so fucking sweet, that people feared them. The last person they wanted to see at night was a vampire. Now I hear girls expressing how they wish they could have a romantic relationship with a vampire. Here's the trick girls, look for the guy wearing the black trench coat with all the chains hanging off of him, wearing the black eye shadow, and black lipstick. He's about as close to a vampire as you are going to get. Go ahead and follow your dreams and the real guys will stay grounded to reality here on Earth if you come back.
Werewolves have also started to shy away from their roots. Remember Teen Wolf in the 80's? That was without a doubt the dumbest piece of shit movie I've seen. Let's imagine for a moment a teenage werewolf that takes hold of his power and uses it to improve his basketball game. A ball crushing movie like that should be erased from history.
I'm happy that in the midst of all this, someone had the mind to do a remake of The Wolfman the right way. You won't find the Wolfman stalking young girls, bitching about his life, wishing he wasn't super badass, and running away from his problems like silly bitch. The Wolfman is perfectly fine with tearing people apart and eating them, just the way they were intended to do. Werewolves are almost mindless creatures who are just really good and eating things, and I mean people. Let them do their job and stop thinking about getting one as a boyfriend. If you don't want a convicted sadistic rapist as a lover, you shouldn't want to be boning a werewolf either.
If I were a werewolf or a vampire I would be pissed beyond comprehension that my image was being destroyed by writers of piss poor literature about supernatural romances. It would be enough for me to come out of my cave, dungeon, castle, basement, or whatever dark place I lived and seek out the daughter of an author of one of these books and impregnate her just so I could neglect to pay child support and bitch about a DNA test. That would be so romantic!
Showing posts with label Hilary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hilary. Show all posts
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Politics, it Pisses Me Off
I've always said that if you want to ruin a friendship you should talk about politics. Everyone has their own damn opinion about what is best for this country, but today I say to hell with it. I am going to say whatever the hell about politics I care to say and if anyone wants to condemn me for my views, you are in the wrong fucking country communist.
Whenever Hillary wins a state the media grows a huge stiffy and that is all you hear about for the next week until Obama wins one. I couldn't give a rat's ass less about who wins what state because the actual election is not until November, and if we learned anything from the 2000 election we would know that the popular vote means dick. So when I see CNN repeating the same speech for 24 hours about political strategy and standpoint, I suddenly feel the need to take a shit because that is all my ears are being filled with.
Here's the problems I have with Hillary and Obama. Hillary is a bitch, plain and simple. I recall shortly after 9/11 Hilary was seen at ground zero trying not to get her hands dirty while surveying the damage. Meanwhile everyone else was trying to find survivors. If I was her (which is impossible because I have balls) I would have been rolling up my sleeves and started digging away at the rubble and show everyone my leadership abilities. Looking back over the last 20 years, it has either been a Bush or Clinton in the oval office. What is this, a monarchy? This country is ready for a change because everyone has been bitching about the downward spiral this country has been in since Reagan left office. Not to mention, Hillary's foreign policy is nearly the same as Bill Clinton's and that is what set G.W. Bush up for more failure than what he could have possibly done on his own. I'm all for a woman president, but not one who has proven to be an ass hat already. It's time to retire Hillary, so dress your age and get used to retirement you radical feminist.
Now your turn Obama. First of all, Obama supported by Oprah. I would not have minded this fact, but a majority of your votes have come from loyal Oprah fans that will do whatever their leader tells them to do. Secondly, Obama goes to a crazy ass church and he wanted to make the pastor one of his main guys. Looks like he forgot to separate church and state, but that is not surprising since he doesn't know much about the Cold War let alone the beliefs of the founding fathers. What pisses me off the most about Obama is that I went to his website to find information, and all I got was an opportunity to give him a donation via my credit card. I work at a fucking lumber mill and this asshole is asking me for my money? What do you think will happen if he gets elected? That's right he'll take everyone's money like any good politician does.
What both of these candidates have in common that worries me is that they are both anti guns. After all, guns kill people, not the person who actually pulls the trigger. Bullshit! If one of these morons is elected we can all say goodbye to the quality guns on store shelves today because they will be outlawed. That way when criminals and terrorists get their hands on a nice assault rifle, the American citizen will only have a handgun and probably a bolt action hunting rifle to defend themselves with. Sorry, but the right to bear arms means to bear arms that are actually effective.
Then there is McCain. I have to give him credit for going through Vietnam and for being a POW. For that I salute you because the other two candidates never had the balls to put themselves in front of a bullet. The issue I have with McCain is his stand on the war, which is the typical republican theory of "stay the course." That obviously hasn't worked since this has been the most piss poor war strategy conceivable. If anyone has read Sun Tzu, you know what I am talking about. Sorry McCain, thank you for your service, but your party is crap.
All this leaves only one hope for America, Ron Paul. Even though he is a republican, Paul has the best voting record and philosophy of the other candidates, which is probably why he is not receiving more support from his party. He does not believe in changing the government as much as he does retaining it as it was originally intended. That means that we could maintain our second amendment rights like liberty intended. What impressed me most was his stance on education. He does not feel that the government should be in total control of a child's education, so like a good American, Ron Paul gives the No Child Left Behind Act a big Fuck You. Best of all, he does not believe in having an income tax since the country got along just fine without until the 1930's when it was instated. That would put more money in our pockets where it belongs instead of going to a half assed government program or foreign oil.
It is just unfortunate that Ron Paul is trailing the other three candidates, but I am still going to vote for him. This is the analogy I use, everyone has a favorite football team and whether they win or lose, you still root for them every year. Ron Paul has my vote I'm hoping he will have your s as well and America does too.
Whenever Hillary wins a state the media grows a huge stiffy and that is all you hear about for the next week until Obama wins one. I couldn't give a rat's ass less about who wins what state because the actual election is not until November, and if we learned anything from the 2000 election we would know that the popular vote means dick. So when I see CNN repeating the same speech for 24 hours about political strategy and standpoint, I suddenly feel the need to take a shit because that is all my ears are being filled with.
Here's the problems I have with Hillary and Obama. Hillary is a bitch, plain and simple. I recall shortly after 9/11 Hilary was seen at ground zero trying not to get her hands dirty while surveying the damage. Meanwhile everyone else was trying to find survivors. If I was her (which is impossible because I have balls) I would have been rolling up my sleeves and started digging away at the rubble and show everyone my leadership abilities. Looking back over the last 20 years, it has either been a Bush or Clinton in the oval office. What is this, a monarchy? This country is ready for a change because everyone has been bitching about the downward spiral this country has been in since Reagan left office. Not to mention, Hillary's foreign policy is nearly the same as Bill Clinton's and that is what set G.W. Bush up for more failure than what he could have possibly done on his own. I'm all for a woman president, but not one who has proven to be an ass hat already. It's time to retire Hillary, so dress your age and get used to retirement you radical feminist.
Now your turn Obama. First of all, Obama supported by Oprah. I would not have minded this fact, but a majority of your votes have come from loyal Oprah fans that will do whatever their leader tells them to do. Secondly, Obama goes to a crazy ass church and he wanted to make the pastor one of his main guys. Looks like he forgot to separate church and state, but that is not surprising since he doesn't know much about the Cold War let alone the beliefs of the founding fathers. What pisses me off the most about Obama is that I went to his website to find information, and all I got was an opportunity to give him a donation via my credit card. I work at a fucking lumber mill and this asshole is asking me for my money? What do you think will happen if he gets elected? That's right he'll take everyone's money like any good politician does.
What both of these candidates have in common that worries me is that they are both anti guns. After all, guns kill people, not the person who actually pulls the trigger. Bullshit! If one of these morons is elected we can all say goodbye to the quality guns on store shelves today because they will be outlawed. That way when criminals and terrorists get their hands on a nice assault rifle, the American citizen will only have a handgun and probably a bolt action hunting rifle to defend themselves with. Sorry, but the right to bear arms means to bear arms that are actually effective.
Then there is McCain. I have to give him credit for going through Vietnam and for being a POW. For that I salute you because the other two candidates never had the balls to put themselves in front of a bullet. The issue I have with McCain is his stand on the war, which is the typical republican theory of "stay the course." That obviously hasn't worked since this has been the most piss poor war strategy conceivable. If anyone has read Sun Tzu, you know what I am talking about. Sorry McCain, thank you for your service, but your party is crap.
All this leaves only one hope for America, Ron Paul. Even though he is a republican, Paul has the best voting record and philosophy of the other candidates, which is probably why he is not receiving more support from his party. He does not believe in changing the government as much as he does retaining it as it was originally intended. That means that we could maintain our second amendment rights like liberty intended. What impressed me most was his stance on education. He does not feel that the government should be in total control of a child's education, so like a good American, Ron Paul gives the No Child Left Behind Act a big Fuck You. Best of all, he does not believe in having an income tax since the country got along just fine without until the 1930's when it was instated. That would put more money in our pockets where it belongs instead of going to a half assed government program or foreign oil.
It is just unfortunate that Ron Paul is trailing the other three candidates, but I am still going to vote for him. This is the analogy I use, everyone has a favorite football team and whether they win or lose, you still root for them every year. Ron Paul has my vote I'm hoping he will have your s as well and America does too.
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